Haruki Murakami’s book Kafka on the Shore brought on some very uncomfortable feelings to the fore. Nakata is my favourite character from the book. I was able to relate to Nakata in a strange way – I was able to draw parallels to a loved one in my family.
Nakata was a bright boy in school, was very strong academically and always did well in tests until that fateful day when he met an accident. That accident led to a loss of his cognitive ability and he never quite was the same person anymore. It wasn’t entirely an accident though – someone in a position of authority had a violent outburst and Nakata was their victim. It is hinted that that act of violence was the distinguishing factor between him and the others who went through the same strange event where a bunch of kids lost consciousness, Nakata being one of them. Every one regained consciousness and were back to being their normal selves except Nakata who was comatose for a number of days. When he did regain his consciousness, it was discovered that he had lost his cognitive abilities and never was quite the same again.
My loved one has a parallel story. They had an accident where an older family member was involved and my loved one lost their cognitive ability after that accident and never really got back to being the same. Eerie how similar it is.
You don’t come across too many books where the central character has an intellectual deficiency. Stories about them are few and far between. I’m a fairly voracious reader but the only other book I can think of is The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky. That’s what I love about the Russian authors – their characters are so well explored and deep. The characters Myshkin from the Idiot, and Nakata from Kafka on the shore, have some similarities – in their honesty, lack of deceit, guile etc. Also the same qualities in my loved one.
I often wondered growing up, if we were in a simulation, what would that other path look like? In every other simulation, the person was an overachiever, extremely sharp, intelligent person. That quality still shines through in their current reality when you see sparks of their intelligence, and that is after the cognitive decline.
Long story short – both Nakata and my loved one have a strong innate desire to read but can’t. Something as simple as reading that we take for granted can be the source of such s strong longing. In the book, during his adventures, Nakata happens to visit this private library and is immediately drawn to books. Since he can’t read, he picks up books that have pictures and is glued to them. My loved one is obsessed with buying books – they flip over the pages every now and then and forgets about them until they want another one. Harmless obsession that hides a very real pain.
Nakata has accepted his fate and often admits to strangers his lack of the ability to read, as a matter of fact, devoid of any emotion. I rarely acknowledged this truth in the past about my loved one. Why would I? The acknowledgement itself brings pain and humans are wired to avoid pain.
It’s funny how you relate to a book – you just never know which chords a book strikes. At the very least, you will discover something new about yourself or bring out something that had been hiding in plain sight.